Author: Barb

When was the last time you had “one of those days”? You know the kind of day I mean. You hit the snooze button one too many times and now you’re running late for work!   You are almost ready to leave but the dog won’t come back in the house or you just spilled coffee all over your shirt!  The day hasn’t even started yet and you’re already in a bad mood.

If you read my post yesterday, “Houston, We Have A Problem”, this would be a prime example of an event that could put you over the edge!  Although, we did not allow that to happen to us!

It’s way too easy to let the events of the day determine the mood that we are in. It’s easy to think that things are happening to us when really, we are allowing the events of the day to determine our state of mind. Things happen. It’s up to us to consciously process these events and make thoughtful decisions about how we will react to them.

Paying attention to what is going on in the exact moment, in very simple terms, is called mindfulness. There’s a lot of talk about mindfulness right now. Is there anything to it? Or is it just a lot of mumbo jumbo?

I suppose that’s up to you to decide. If you want some suggestions to give it a try, here are my top 9 ideas to help get you started:

1. Awaken with Gratitude

2. Practice Morning Meditation

3. Write in a Journal

4. Read Inspirational Content

5. Set a Daily Intention

6. Define Three Daily Goals

8. Connect with Nature

7. Be Present with Your Family

9. Recite Positive Affirmations

Pick one thing and try it every day for a week. See if you notice a difference in your life. Stick with it every day for two weeks and that is the beginning of a habit. Hang in there for two months and your habit will become automatic. You won’t even have to think about it!

And that’s no mumbo jumbo!

Every so often, my husband and I step outside for a “yard assessment”.  This is how it works.  Near the end of the day on a weekend we will stop what we are doing, grab a cold drink and head out into the back yard.  We take a walk around and talk about what we think needs to be done.  We discuss what we still want to accomplish, like adding a deck or some new plants.  We also take note of the projects that we have finished together, remembering how bare it was when we first started.

This may sound funny, but this simple walk through the yard is one of my favorite things that we do together.  We talk about our plans for the yard but it’s more than that.  More often than not, we end up on the deck and the talk turns from what has taken place in the yard to what has taken place in our lives.  It’s a time for us to stop and see where we have been, what we have accomplished and where we are headed. 

Now I’m not saying we are like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting or anything.   This can be as simple as planning dinner for the night.  It might be something that we have struggled with that week or we might discuss an upcoming event on the calendar.  My point is that this quick yard assessment turns into a quick life assessment.  It sounds goofy, but there it is. 

We all need time to check in with each other.  To reconnect.   To listen and to be listened to.  To make sure we are still on the same page and maybe pull some metaphorical weeds.  To plant something new.  Life is busy.  So busy that it’s easy to forget the simple things in your own back yard.

At the risk of sounding like an even bigger goof-ball, one of my favorite movies growing up was the Wizard of Oz.  In it, Dorothy has the best line at the end of the movie, when she says, “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

I can relate to Dorothy as we chat on the deck.  I think that happiness and fulfillment in life are found in our own back yards.  And, they must first be found in our hearts and in our homes, because if you can’t find them there, you won’t find them anywhere else.

True North on a map is found by following the lines of longitude. These are the lines that run between the South Pole and the North Pole. A compass can direct you in a northward fashion, but it is unable to direct you to True North. If you were to set a course for the North Pole, you would have to follow the undeviating lines of longitude to get there.

True North is also the internal compass that guides us through life.  It is who you are at your core, what you believe in and what your values are.  It is a fixed point within you that helps you stay on track in a world that, all too often, feels out of control.

Following our internal True North requires us to follow our hearts and our inner guide. It requires us to be intentional about our thoughts and our actions.  It calls us to be mindful of others.  It keeps us grateful and in the present moment.

It offers us the chance to step back and consider what is important today and then to act with intention.  When we act with intention, we begin to create the life that we want.  Intentions can include practicing more compassion, practicing gratitude, or listening to others without distraction.  It can even be as simple as setting a general intention for your day when you wake up each morning.

So follow your True North and have an intentional day today!

Can you think of something really big in life that you wanted but you let it go?  A goal that you wanted to achieve but didn’t? Every one of us has failed in reaching a goal.  Every one of us has a reason why we gave up on something.

I don’t know what those reasons are for other people, but I can tell you why I have given up on my dreams in the past.  It’s when it gets too hard or when I get tired of the struggle or when I am afraid of the uncertainty that comes with the possibility of reaching my goal. Those are the times when I have been known to quit. 

One of my big dreams was to write children’s books.  I wrote several and submitted my manuscripts to the major publishing houses.  As manuscript after manuscript came back with a rejection letter, I finally gave up.  I was discouraged and I felt like a failure so I just stopped writing altogether.  Looking back now, I wish I had been more persistent.  I wonder where I might have been today if I had just stuck with it.

It was Calvin Coolidge who said:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

I love this quote, but I also think there’s one thing that should be added.  We must also truly believe that we can achieve the goals we set for ourselves.  If we don’t first believe in ourselves, we will never muster the persistence and determination that are required to see us through to the end.

I don’t know what your dreams are and I don’t know what kind of obstacles you face to achieve them.  I know that my dreams are pretty big and the obstacles seem even bigger.  I am working toward my dream of publishing a children’s book and my heart tells me not to quit.  It tells me to dig deep and believe in myself.  It tells me to be persistent this time.

If you have a dream that you still want and you feel it in your heart, don’t give up.  Don’t give up because you’re tired and you want the easy way out.  Plan and work toward your goal.  Ignore failure, even if you have to ignore it over and over again.  Believe in yourself and persist until you win. 

He was a problem from the moment we got him.  A rotten, albeit, adorable little Labrador-Boykin Spaniel mix that we named Buttons.  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  He antagonized the other two dogs in our house.  “It’s ok, he’s not my dog.” I thought to myself.  We had gotten this adorable-rotten little puppy for my husband’s parents.  We were only going to have him for a few weeks and then he would be out of my hair.

I issued specific instructions to my family not to become attached to this dog.  “No crying when he’s gone,” I commanded.  We were going to train him and then drive him to Ohio for mom and dad. When the time finally came to deliver the pup, however, I was unable to heed my own instructions.   I cried all the way back to Georgia after leaving him.

He turned out to be a great dog for our parents though.  Well, I guess you’d have to define “great”.  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  Apparently, that was just going to be his nature.  But he also did some things that I can truly define as great.  He became their companion.  He became their protector. He became a part of their family and he made them happy.

He also made them crazy!  I know that for the first three years that they had him, we would cringe each time the phone rang.  We answered each call tentatively, wondering what he had done “this time”.  Undoubtedly, he had chewed up the umpteenth pair of slippers, ran off with grandma’s dentures again, or slipped out the front door after the neighbor’s cat not to return for several hours.  No matter the infraction, they loved him and were always willing to make concessions for him.

Five years ago, Buttons came back to live with us after mom and dad passed on.  We used to joke that they were both in heaven laughing at the fact that we were getting this raucous hound back.  That he was being returned to us for penance after all the craziness that he put them through.  I could just see them smiling and saying, “Tag!  You’re it!” knowing that we were in for a rousing dose of Buttons.

Indeed, adding this dog back into our family was an adjustment.  We still had two large Labrador retrievers that kept us busy full time but I thought, “What’s one more dog at this point?”  What indeed!  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  Same old Buttons.  And then, he became our companion.  He became our protector. He became a part of our family and he made us happy.

Yesterday was Button’s last day on Earth so we decided to dedicate the whole day to him.  We did everything that he liked to do.  We went for a ride in the car.  We bought him a Happy Meal with extra fries.  We took him out for an ice cream cone.  We took him for a walk even though it was raining.  We baked him chocolate chip cookies and left them precariously perched on the edge the counter for “one last steal”.  He wasn’t quite up for that but I’m pretty sure he appreciated the gesture.  We all told him how much we loved him and I think he was happy.

I believe that God gave us dogs for a reason.  I think that they are a faithful reminder to us of our Creator. You cannot earn love from a dog, it is simply given to you. It is unconditional. Finding unconditional love and faithfulness is a pretty rare thing. People may give up on us but dogs never do. They teach us so much about life and about ourselves.

And, I also believe Buttons is in heaven right now.  He’s reunited with mom and dad.  I’m not sure how he’s behaving up there, but I just wanted to say to them, “Tag!  You’re it….again!”

“That’s what I want to be when I grow up!” said one of my friends over lunch last week.   And, it’s not the first time she or I have said this.  Every weekday afternoon we all gather in the lunchroom where the discussion often turns to what we dream about doing with our lives.  Whether it’s opening a gift shop, writing a book or taking a photography class, these ideas are contemplated and discussed.    In our sixty minute escape from the daily grind we imagine our wildest dreams over a cold turkey sandwich.  Afterward, we neatly tuck our dreams back into our lunchboxes and head back to work.

So, how do we make the leap from these “lunchmeat-sandwich-dreams” to a bold new reality?  How do we make the shift from everyday living to really living every day? 

What’s your Why?       

I believe it starts with discovering the “why” behind your dreams.  What is the driving factor behind what you want to do?  Why is this dream important to you?    Asking yourself these important questions will give you the fuel you need to move forward.  When you can connect your feelings (your why) with your dreams, you create intention.  Intention is our commitment to carrying out a future action.  We are moved into action by our convictions and our “why” in life. Our ideas alone are not enough to carry us forward.

Small Steps.          

Start by doing a small part of the thing you think you want to do. Write a blog.  Sell on the internet.  Take photographs on the weekends. Too often we make the mistake of believing that we have to give up everything, quit our jobs and become financially dependent on our new venture.    We make the process so complicated that we give up before we even try.   Just starting the process will create the “snowball effect”, each small step building upon itself, becoming larger and gaining momentum along the way. 

Be Happy.         

Be happy where you are, right now!  This might seem hard to do at first but it starts with gratitude.  Be thankful for what you have.  Take time each morning to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.  We spend a lot of time chasing things.  “I’ll be happy when I lose ten pounds or get that promotion.”  The truth is that even when you attain one of these things, there is always something else to chase.   You already possess everything you need to have joy in your life today.   

Give it Time!      

Ok, I hear the groaning out there already!  I hear you saying, “But that will take forever!”  Listen, small steps are better than no steps at all.  Small steps will allow you to truly find what you love.  The American author, Earl Nightingale, said, “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

What are you grateful for and inspired by?

I am inspired by children.  I love their authenticity.  I love their imagination.  I love that they exist in possibility.  They wake up to a world of possibility and they believe in what is possible all day long.

As a child, I just wanted to grow up so I could do what I wanted to do, make my own rules and not listen to what adults were telling me.  Now that I am an adult, I long for the ease of being a child again.   

Children enjoy the small things in life.  A popsicle or a visit with a puppy can make their day.  (I am totally with them on the puppy thing!)  Remembering the small things in life and taking the time to enjoy them makes all the difference in the world.  What small things make you happy?

Children also choose what they want to do based on how they feel.  If it sounds fun and exciting, that’s the ticket!  And, they have the ability to stay present in the moment, to be absorbed in what they are enjoying.  As adults, we tend to choose things based on what other people think.  We need to remember that we can choose to do something just because it will be fun. 

If we can learn to incorporate more childlike behavior into our lives, we can learn to live more from the heart.  Less from fear and more from curiosity.  Less from worry and more from freedom. 

So get excited about the small things in life and add some fun into your day.  Act like a kid once in a while.  Buy an ice cream cone, jump in a puddle or belly laugh at one of your own jokes.  And, consider the possibility of existing in possibility.