Author: Barb

I have been riding the bus to work for over three years now.  Each morning I arrive to find a slew of people waiting in line.  I recognize most everyone though we rarely talk. We offer a quick nod to one another or we might mumble a “good morning” under our breath.

I have often thought it funny that there isn’t more interaction between us.  This is a group of people that I see every day but we are reserved with one another.  We don’t want to share too much or get involved. 

I have also drawn some conclusions about this group of people.  Such as, these people aren’t friendly, they want to be left alone and they do not care about others.  Not that I was ever going out of my way to engage in conversation either.

But then, last week, I noticed something as I was standing impatiently in line.

An older gentleman wearing a green park ranger uniform climbed out of the passenger side of a late model Subaru.  He turned, leaned back in and grabbed the lead of a large yellow Labrador retriever. The man moved tentatively, sometimes with one arm outstretched in front of him, as he made his way toward the bus.  The dog, sensing the man’s pace, matched each step.  

The long line of soon to be passengers stepped aside to allow the pair to board ahead of them. A gentleman near the front of the line said quietly, “You’re almost there.  Just two more steps”.  Another passenger reached out and guided the ranger’s outstretched arm toward the open door.

The ranger nodded in their direction and quietly said, “Thank you”. Then he climbed the stairs with the dog following patiently behind. 

I don’t know anything about the ranger and his dog but I saw how the crowd responded to them and I knew that I had misjudged this group of people.   This small act of kindness was simple and heart felt and I was glad to witness this quiet exchange. 

This interaction reminds me of how easy it is to make assumptions about others.  About how we first look for the negative rather than the positive in people. It also reminds me that seeing the good in others is a powerful way to feel happier, more loving and more productive in the world.

Starting a blog is an interesting thing. There are days when I think my writing is great.  There are days when I think my writing is pretty crummy.  Sometimes, most times, it’s both thoughts in the same day. 

I also think that my writing is probably neither.  It’s probably somewhere in the middle.

How often do we hope for things to be “somewhere in the middle”?  At work?  At the gym?  I find a little too often that I know exactly what I can do to squeak by.  Just how much I can do without doing too much, if you know what I mean.  It’s comfortable in the middle.  I don’t have to push myself there.

But is that how we are supposed to live our lives?  Hoping for somewhere in the middle? 

I find that the middle is the safe place.  It’s not too close to the edges.   If you get too close to the edge, why you just might fall!  But, have you ever stopped to think of what might happen if you fall?

Here’s what I think.  One of three things can happen when we fall.  Either we land on something soft, in which case we get up and try again.  We land on something hard, get up a little slower, (maybe with some choice words), but we still try again.

Or maybe, just maybe, when we fall off the edge we begin to fly.  

Stepping out of our comfort zone is never easy.  Hint: that’s why they call it the comfort zone.  And, we will find resistance when we push ourselves. But those uneasy places, those places on the edges, are the places where we find out who we are and who we were meant to be.  And for me, the fear of never flying was greater than falling.

I like what John Burroughs, an American naturalist, is quoted as saying, “Leap and the net will appear.”

I love to delete junk emails. The kind that you don’t even have to open.  As soon as you seem them, you know they’re trash.  I am almost giddy as I highlight an entire group, hit the little trash can icon and watch them disappear into the electronic abyss. 

There’s a simple reason we’re given the option to delete emails. There’s limited space to keep them. If you want to be able to receive new messages, you have to delete the old ones.

So, why do I bring this up?  

Because sometimes I wish we each had a mental “trash can” button.  One we could use to delete the daily barrage of incoming negativity in our lives.

Like, the guy who just cut you off in traffic. 

Or, the person who just said something rude to you.

Or, maybe just the endless stream of bad news we see each morning when we turn on the news.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we bury our heads in the sand about important issues.  I’m just saying it’s easy to overload our brains with unnecessary negative messages.  And, when all we can focus on is what went wrong today, it makes it harder to receive the incoming good messages.  

So, hit the mental “trash” button on those negative messages.  Permanently.  No archiving please!  We all love to look back and rehash everything that went wrong. 

Instead, start paying attention to what you are thinking.   When you are aware of your thoughts, you can change them.  Try replacing each negative thought with a positive one.    I have heard that it takes at least six positive thoughts to override one negative thought.

So let me leave you with a positive quote today:

“There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.”  Brian Tracy    

Background noise is any sound other than the sound being monitored.

Sometimes you can’t hear the background noise even when it’s very loud.  You may feel agitated or annoyed.  You may feel like there is something tugging at you.  You may not be able to complete a thought or a conversation although you aren’t sure why.

And then, all of a sudden, that elusive noise becomes clear.  And you realize that this noise, whatever it is, a monotonous tone, a whistle, a beep has been in the background for some time.  A constant “pinging”, over and over, until you really truly hear it.

My background noise was a “ping” that told me to start writing again.  I ignored it for a really long time.  Until the background noise was so deafening that I had to stop and listen. 

So what’s in your background noise?

Write a book.

Ping.

Take a class.

Ping.

Volunteer.

Ping.

Tuning into your life can be as simple as listening for that “ping” that is probably already there. 

Are you listening?

I joined Toastmasters a few weeks ago.  Why?  I have been asking myself that very same question.  I really don’t have a good answer except to say that it just seemed like something I should be doing.  Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, that is.

If you are not familiar with Toastmasters, it is a club where you learn how to get on stage and speak in front of people. Voluntarily.  Sometimes with a prepared speech, sometimes impromptu.  I know, crazy, right?

Today I will give my “Ice Breaker” speech in front of a crowd of tens. 

Thank goodness it’s a small group.

I hope I won’t be too nervous. 

I hope that my voice holds out and doesn’t waver up and down.  Or worse, get higher and higher until I sound like one of the mice from Cinderella.

I hope I don’t forget what I think is a spectacular ending to my speech.  I did this a couple of weeks ago while practicing and said, “I’d like to leave you with this great quote from Mark Twain” and then, nothing, I went totally blank. 

I am sure none of this will happen. I am sure it will all be fine. 

I will get through it and be glad that I pushed myself to do something uncomfortable.

Because growth never comes through comfort.

Growth only comes when we push ourselves to do what we don’t want to do. 

Or what we think we cannot do.  And then, we just go ahead and do it anyway.