Category: Lifestyle

Can you think of something really big in life that you wanted but you let it go?  A goal that you wanted to achieve but didn’t? Every one of us has failed in reaching a goal.  Every one of us has a reason why we gave up on something.

I don’t know what those reasons are for other people, but I can tell you why I have given up on my dreams in the past.  It’s when it gets too hard or when I get tired of the struggle or when I am afraid of the uncertainty that comes with the possibility of reaching my goal. Those are the times when I have been known to quit. 

One of my big dreams was to write children’s books.  I wrote several and submitted my manuscripts to the major publishing houses.  As manuscript after manuscript came back with a rejection letter, I finally gave up.  I was discouraged and I felt like a failure so I just stopped writing altogether.  Looking back now, I wish I had been more persistent.  I wonder where I might have been today if I had just stuck with it.

It was Calvin Coolidge who said:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

I love this quote, but I also think there’s one thing that should be added.  We must also truly believe that we can achieve the goals we set for ourselves.  If we don’t first believe in ourselves, we will never muster the persistence and determination that are required to see us through to the end.

I don’t know what your dreams are and I don’t know what kind of obstacles you face to achieve them.  I know that my dreams are pretty big and the obstacles seem even bigger.  I am working toward my dream of publishing a children’s book and my heart tells me not to quit.  It tells me to dig deep and believe in myself.  It tells me to be persistent this time.

If you have a dream that you still want and you feel it in your heart, don’t give up.  Don’t give up because you’re tired and you want the easy way out.  Plan and work toward your goal.  Ignore failure, even if you have to ignore it over and over again.  Believe in yourself and persist until you win. 

He was a problem from the moment we got him.  A rotten, albeit, adorable little Labrador-Boykin Spaniel mix that we named Buttons.  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  He antagonized the other two dogs in our house.  “It’s ok, he’s not my dog.” I thought to myself.  We had gotten this adorable-rotten little puppy for my husband’s parents.  We were only going to have him for a few weeks and then he would be out of my hair.

I issued specific instructions to my family not to become attached to this dog.  “No crying when he’s gone,” I commanded.  We were going to train him and then drive him to Ohio for mom and dad. When the time finally came to deliver the pup, however, I was unable to heed my own instructions.   I cried all the way back to Georgia after leaving him.

He turned out to be a great dog for our parents though.  Well, I guess you’d have to define “great”.  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  Apparently, that was just going to be his nature.  But he also did some things that I can truly define as great.  He became their companion.  He became their protector. He became a part of their family and he made them happy.

He also made them crazy!  I know that for the first three years that they had him, we would cringe each time the phone rang.  We answered each call tentatively, wondering what he had done “this time”.  Undoubtedly, he had chewed up the umpteenth pair of slippers, ran off with grandma’s dentures again, or slipped out the front door after the neighbor’s cat not to return for several hours.  No matter the infraction, they loved him and were always willing to make concessions for him.

Five years ago, Buttons came back to live with us after mom and dad passed on.  We used to joke that they were both in heaven laughing at the fact that we were getting this raucous hound back.  That he was being returned to us for penance after all the craziness that he put them through.  I could just see them smiling and saying, “Tag!  You’re it!” knowing that we were in for a rousing dose of Buttons.

Indeed, adding this dog back into our family was an adjustment.  We still had two large Labrador retrievers that kept us busy full time but I thought, “What’s one more dog at this point?”  What indeed!  He chewed, he barked, he created a ruckus.  Same old Buttons.  And then, he became our companion.  He became our protector. He became a part of our family and he made us happy.

Yesterday was Button’s last day on Earth so we decided to dedicate the whole day to him.  We did everything that he liked to do.  We went for a ride in the car.  We bought him a Happy Meal with extra fries.  We took him out for an ice cream cone.  We took him for a walk even though it was raining.  We baked him chocolate chip cookies and left them precariously perched on the edge the counter for “one last steal”.  He wasn’t quite up for that but I’m pretty sure he appreciated the gesture.  We all told him how much we loved him and I think he was happy.

I believe that God gave us dogs for a reason.  I think that they are a faithful reminder to us of our Creator. You cannot earn love from a dog, it is simply given to you. It is unconditional. Finding unconditional love and faithfulness is a pretty rare thing. People may give up on us but dogs never do. They teach us so much about life and about ourselves.

And, I also believe Buttons is in heaven right now.  He’s reunited with mom and dad.  I’m not sure how he’s behaving up there, but I just wanted to say to them, “Tag!  You’re it….again!”

 

“That’s what I want to be when I grow up!” said one of my friends over lunch last week.   And, it’s not the first time she or I have said this.  Every weekday afternoon we all gather in the lunchroom where the discussion often turns to what we dream about doing with our lives.  Whether it’s opening a gift shop, writing a book or taking a photography class, these ideas are contemplated and discussed.    In our sixty minute escape from the daily grind we imagine our wildest dreams over a cold turkey sandwich.  Afterward, we neatly tuck our dreams back into our lunchboxes and head back to work.

So, how do we make the leap from these “lunchmeat-sandwich-dreams” to a bold new reality?  How do we make the shift from everyday living to really living every day? 

What’s your Why?       

I believe it starts with discovering the “why” behind your dreams.  What is the driving factor behind what you want to do?  Why is this dream important to you?    Asking yourself these important questions will give you the fuel you need to move forward.  When you can connect your feelings (your why) with your dreams, you create intention.  Intention is our commitment to carrying out a future action.  We are moved into action by our convictions and our “why” in life. Our ideas alone are not enough to carry us forward.

Small Steps.          

Start by doing a small part of the thing you think you want to do. Write a blog.  Sell on the internet.  Take photographs on the weekends. Too often we make the mistake of believing that we have to give up everything, quit our jobs and become financially dependent on our new venture.    We make the process so complicated that we give up before we even try.   Just starting the process will create the “snowball effect”, each small step building upon itself, becoming larger and gaining momentum along the way. 

Be Happy.         

Be happy where you are, right now!  This might seem hard to do at first but it starts with gratitude.  Be thankful for what you have.  Take time each morning to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.  We spend a lot of time chasing things.  “I’ll be happy when I lose ten pounds or get that promotion.”  The truth is that even when you attain one of these things, there is always something else to chase.   You already possess everything you need to have joy in your life today.   

Give it Time!      

Ok, I hear the groaning out there already!  I hear you saying, “But that will take forever!”  Listen, small steps are better than no steps at all.  Small steps will allow you to truly find what you love.  The American author, Earl Nightingale, said, “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

What are you grateful for and inspired by?

I am inspired by children.  I love their authenticity.  I love their imagination.  I love that they exist in possibility.  They wake up to a world of possibility and they believe in what is possible all day long.

As a child, I just wanted to grow up so I could do what I wanted to do, make my own rules and not listen to what adults were telling me.  Now that I am an adult, I long for the ease of being a child again.   

Children enjoy the small things in life.  A popsicle or a visit with a puppy can make their day.  (I am totally with them on the puppy thing!)  Remembering the small things in life and taking the time to enjoy them makes all the difference in the world.  What small things make you happy?

Children also choose what they want to do based on how they feel.  If it sounds fun and exciting, that’s the ticket!  And, they have the ability to stay present in the moment, to be absorbed in what they are enjoying.  As adults, we tend to choose things based on what other people think.  We need to remember that we can choose to do something just because it will be fun. 

If we can learn to incorporate more childlike behavior into our lives, we can learn to live more from the heart.  Less from fear and more from curiosity.  Less from worry and more from freedom. 

So get excited about the small things in life and add some fun into your day.  Act like a kid once in a while.  Buy an ice cream cone, jump in a puddle or belly laugh at one of your own jokes.  And, consider the possibility of existing in possibility.

I have been riding the bus to work for over three years now.  Each morning I arrive to find a slew of people waiting in line.  I recognize most everyone though we rarely talk. We offer a quick nod to one another or we might mumble a “good morning” under our breath.

I have often thought it funny that there isn’t more interaction between us.  This is a group of people that I see every day but we are reserved with one another.  We don’t want to share too much or get involved. 

I have also drawn some conclusions about this group of people.  Such as, these people aren’t friendly, they want to be left alone and they do not care about others.  Not that I was ever going out of my way to engage in conversation either.

But then, last week, I noticed something as I was standing impatiently in line.

An older gentleman wearing a green park ranger uniform climbed out of the passenger side of a late model Subaru.  He turned, leaned back in and grabbed the lead of a large yellow Labrador retriever. The man moved tentatively, sometimes with one arm outstretched in front of him, as he made his way toward the bus.  The dog, sensing the man’s pace, matched each step.  

The long line of soon to be passengers stepped aside to allow the pair to board ahead of them. A gentleman near the front of the line said quietly, “You’re almost there.  Just two more steps”.  Another passenger reached out and guided the ranger’s outstretched arm toward the open door.

The ranger nodded in their direction and quietly said, “Thank you”. Then he climbed the stairs with the dog following patiently behind. 

I don’t know anything about the ranger and his dog but I saw how the crowd responded to them and I knew that I had misjudged this group of people.   This small act of kindness was simple and heart felt and I was glad to witness this quiet exchange. 

This interaction reminds me of how easy it is to make assumptions about others.  About how we first look for the negative rather than the positive in people. It also reminds me that seeing the good in others is a powerful way to feel happier, more loving and more productive in the world.

Starting a blog is an interesting thing. There are days when I think my writing is great.  There are days when I think my writing is pretty crummy.  Sometimes, most times, it’s both thoughts in the same day. 

I also think that my writing is probably neither.  It’s probably somewhere in the middle.

How often do we hope for things to be “somewhere in the middle”?  At work?  At the gym?  I find a little too often that I know exactly what I can do to squeak by.  Just how much I can do without doing too much, if you know what I mean.  It’s comfortable in the middle.  I don’t have to push myself there.

But is that how we are supposed to live our lives?  Hoping for somewhere in the middle? 

I find that the middle is the safe place.  It’s not too close to the edges.   If you get too close to the edge, why you just might fall!  But, have you ever stopped to think of what might happen if you fall?

Here’s what I think.  One of three things can happen when we fall.  Either we land on something soft, in which case we get up and try again.  We land on something hard, get up a little slower, (maybe with some choice words), but we still try again.

Or maybe, just maybe, when we fall off the edge we begin to fly.  

Stepping out of our comfort zone is never easy.  Hint: that’s why they call it the comfort zone.  And, we will find resistance when we push ourselves. But those uneasy places, those places on the edges, are the places where we find out who we are and who we were meant to be.  And for me, the fear of never flying was greater than falling.

I like what John Burroughs, an American naturalist, is quoted as saying, “Leap and the net will appear.”

I love to delete junk emails. The kind that you don’t even have to open.  As soon as you seem them, you know they’re trash.  I am almost giddy as I highlight an entire group, hit the little trash can icon and watch them disappear into the electronic abyss. 

There’s a simple reason we’re given the option to delete emails. There’s limited space to keep them. If you want to be able to receive new messages, you have to delete the old ones.

So, why do I bring this up?  

Because sometimes I wish we each had a mental “trash can” button.  One we could use to delete the daily barrage of incoming negativity in our lives.

Like, the guy who just cut you off in traffic. 

Or, the person who just said something rude to you.

Or, maybe just the endless stream of bad news we see each morning when we turn on the news.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we bury our heads in the sand about important issues.  I’m just saying it’s easy to overload our brains with unnecessary negative messages.  And, when all we can focus on is what went wrong today, it makes it harder to receive the incoming good messages.  

So, hit the mental “trash” button on those negative messages.  Permanently.  No archiving please!  We all love to look back and rehash everything that went wrong. 

Instead, start paying attention to what you are thinking.   When you are aware of your thoughts, you can change them.  Try replacing each negative thought with a positive one.    I have heard that it takes at least six positive thoughts to override one negative thought.

So let me leave you with a positive quote today:

“There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.”  Brian Tracy    

Background noise is any sound other than the sound being monitored.

Sometimes you can’t hear the background noise even when it’s very loud.  You may feel agitated or annoyed.  You may feel like there is something tugging at you.  You may not be able to complete a thought or a conversation although you aren’t sure why.

And then, all of a sudden, that elusive noise becomes clear.  And you realize that this noise, whatever it is, a monotonous tone, a whistle, a beep has been in the background for some time.  A constant “pinging”, over and over, until you really truly hear it.

My background noise was a “ping” that told me to start writing again.  I ignored it for a really long time.  Until the background noise was so deafening that I had to stop and listen. 

So what’s in your background noise?

Write a book.

Ping.

Take a class.

Ping.

Volunteer.

Ping.

Tuning into your life can be as simple as listening for that “ping” that is probably already there. 

Are you listening?

I joined Toastmasters a few weeks ago.  Why?  I have been asking myself that very same question.  I really don’t have a good answer except to say that it just seemed like something I should be doing.  Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, that is.

If you are not familiar with Toastmasters, it is a club where you learn how to get on stage and speak in front of people. Voluntarily.  Sometimes with a prepared speech, sometimes impromptu.  I know, crazy, right?

Today I will give my “Ice Breaker” speech in front of a crowd of tens. 

Thank goodness it’s a small group.

I hope I won’t be too nervous. 

I hope that my voice holds out and doesn’t waver up and down.  Or worse, get higher and higher until I sound like one of the mice from Cinderella.

I hope I don’t forget what I think is a spectacular ending to my speech.  I did this a couple of weeks ago while practicing and said, “I’d like to leave you with this great quote from Mark Twain” and then, nothing, I went totally blank. 

I am sure none of this will happen. I am sure it will all be fine. 

I will get through it and be glad that I pushed myself to do something uncomfortable.

Because growth never comes through comfort.

Growth only comes when we push ourselves to do what we don’t want to do. 

Or what we think we cannot do.  And then, we just go ahead and do it anyway.