DIY

When my husband and I first started dating, I noticed something unusual about his home.  It was very nice and well kept, but it was entirely khaki.  It had khaki walls.  It had khaki carpet.  It had a lovely khaki couch with a khaki chair and matching khaki pillows.  Khaki curtains adorned the windows. 

He also had a dog.  You might have guessed; it was a khaki Cocker Spaniel. 

Despite this man’s odd fascination with all things khaki, I married him.  And, soon, I became the queen of the khaki castle.  As queen, my first proclamation was that we needed to add some color.  My choice?  Mauve.  A pale purple color that sits between violet and pink in the color wheel.

My husband, Mr. Khaki, said that he had never heard of mauve, much less a color wheel.  He was less than enthusiastic about the idea, but he agreed to let me paint.

When painting day arrived, I clamored my way up the ladder.  About halfway through the process, I lost my footing.  I grabbed for the ladder with both hands and watched as my can of paint plummeted toward the carpet!  It hit with an audible thud and sort of thick belching sound as it tipped onto its side and started bleeding mauve paint on our sea of khaki carpet.  The carpet eagerly sucked up the paint so that it soon resembled a crime scene. I quickly descended the ladder and made it to the bottom just as the khaki dog appeared.

The dog took a quick interest in the paint.  In no time at all, mauve dog prints dotted the khaki carpet in every direction.  I chased the dog through the living room several times in a sort of twisted version of mauve-keep-away!  After several passes, he stopped cold in his tracks as my husband, who had stepped away momentarily, returned.

“Oh my goodness, what happened dear?!”  he said.  Or, something along those lines.  (I will leave it up to you, the reader, to imagine more colorful language may have been used that day.) 

We spent the next several hours alternately scrubbing the dog and the carpet, neither of which seemed to be returning to their original color.  Eventually, we got to the point where you could stand across the room, at dusk, squint real hard with one eye open, and the carpet kind-of looked okay.  Thankfully the khaki couch was large enough to cover most of my mauve mistake. 

I will admit that I have made more than my fair share of do-it-yourself mistakes over the years. And, my husband has endured almost all the colors in the color wheel along the way.  But we have definitely improved our DIY skills since our early days.  Except for one thing. You can always tell what color we’re currently painting by looking at our dog.